When I was young I got called bossy a lot. I came out of the womb giving orders. It is in my DNA to be a leader. For a long time I hated who I was. I quickly figured out being bossy was not a good thing. It took me a long time to accept who I was and fine tune the life skill of tactfulness. If you want to read more about my journey to self acceptance you can read this post.
I’m not sure why I am visitng this subject again. I don’t know if I feel the need to inspire other girls, young women and women to accept who they are and become the leaders they are meant to be. If I feel like I need to share these words for the possible daughter we might have (I promise we do not know what we are having). Or if it is because of the amazing woman I heard speak earlier this week who called milk cooperatives (how we market our milk in the U. S.) a ‘good ole boys club’. Which you can be offended all you want but it is absolutely true, at least in a lot of Michigan cooperatives anyway.
Through the years I have noticed the word bossy is only applied to females. That has always bothered me. Why is a woman who demonstrates leadership skills called bossy while a man is considered a good leader. What makes the interpretation different regarding men versus women. Why are we not worthy of the word leader? Why is everything women do more harshly picked apart than what a man does?
I know when you are at your wit’s end with your kids it is hard to not say those robotic things. We haven’t had our baby yet, but we are very close with our niece and nephew and they have given us a run for our money at times. Although they are mostly funny, cuddly and entertaining like most kids, they have their days. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard my mother coming out of my mouth already. My siblings and I turned out pretty decent so it’s not a bad thing. But I refuse to use the word that was so popular when I was a kid. It wasn’t just my parents. I heard it from teachers, babysitters, everywhere. That dreaded b-word affected my self confidence so much at such a young age and I know it has affected so many other women through their lives. Thankfully, my drive to be a leader outshone my fear and lack of self confidence.
Did you know between elementary school and high school girls’ self-esteem drops 3.5 times more than a boys’? Or how about, girls are twice as likely to worry about if a leadership role will make them seem bossy. These things make me sad but there are times I still catch myself worrying about seeming bossy. Then I mentally slap myself and tell myself to get it together and put my big girl pants on.
I ask you to ban the word bossy from your vocabulary. Join the #BanBossy conversation about empowering our girls and fellow women. I think strong personality children need to learn how to be tactful but they also need to be taught to embrace what God has blessed them with rather than be ashamed.
If you would like to learn more about #BanBossy see the campaign here. What is your opinion on the word bossy?
Can I just tell you – from a fellow “bossy” girl’s perspective – how much I love this! I was called bossy as a child too… and I’ve realized as I’ve grown up many times those little girls who are referred to as bossy as kids are then referred to as the other “B” word when we get older. I haven’t decided as of yet whether to own or refuse that term, of course there’s no excuse for being rude or mean, but I agree it’s not fair we get a bad label simply for having strong opinions and leadership skills that are considered good traits in men.
Also, sidenote, I’m so glad I’m not the only one not finding out our baby’s sex! It seems like no one else waits these days, so I”m exciting you all will be surprised too!
I hate the use of the b-word. It feels so derogatory and it’s just plain mean like you said.
We are so excited to see what we are having! It’s been driving my hubby nuts but I think it’s fun. Especially because the pregnancy has been full of so many issues that we still have something fun in it.