The Things you Accept as a New Parent

When you become a new parent things change. A lot of things change. You can tell yourself it won’t change that much. You are wrong. I will say, I have not lost myself to becoming a mom. Often women say they have lost their identity. Maybe that will come with having more kids, but I hope not. Regardless, I am here to share with you the things that most certainly will change after you have a baby.

1. Baby puke will end up between your boobs. Trust me, you will find baby puke everywhere. I was at my doctors office for a checkup. It was one of the first times I had been out since I had had Calli 6 weeks before. I wore a cute top that showed a little bit of my nursing boobs. I was sitting in the waiting room and then suddenly felt a warm, wet sensation between my boobs. Yes, Calli had leaned down and puked between my boobs. Nothing you can do but laugh and send a Snapchat to your husband of the damage.
2. Some days you won’t eat lunch. Some days you will eat it twice. You eat when you have a chance. Some days are bad and you can’t get anything done. Before you know it it’s time to start dinner so you just skip it. Some days you can squeeze it in barely and then the baby takes a 2 hour nap. You betcha I ate lunch again on those days. You gotta take it when you can get it.
3. The same thing goes with the bathroom. Some days I make it to the bathroom once every 10 hours. Sometimes I got twice in 10 minutes because you just don’t know when your next chance will be.
4. People will offer advice. All. The. Time. I know you hear this one a lot, but it cannot be said enough. People will say stupid things. One day I had a super crabby baby but I needed to grab one thing from the grocery store. She did not want to sit in her infant carrier so I put a blanket around her and carried her in. I am positive I had that wore out look on my face. As I walked in the door of the story a lady said, “Why didn’t you bring her in her carrier.” I couldn’t even justify it with an answer.
5. You will always need 30 more minutes to get ready. You can start 14 hours before you need to be somewhere and you will need 14 and a half hours. Trust me. I don’t think I have ever gotten my hair done, makeup done and my clothes changed without having someone to watch Calli for me. It’s like she knows we need to be somewhere.
6. You will pee your pants. If you have a vaginal birth this will happen. Trust me. It sucks. It took my bladder a lot longer to recover than a lot of my friends. One day I was out and didn’t realize I had to pee until I stood up. Let’s just say it was too late. Talk about awful and mortifying. The worst part is I was at a meeting so I had no way to go get a change of clothes or just get the hell out of there. Good news is, it gets better ladies. I am proud to say everything is back to normal and I have no leakage anymore, even when I sneeze. Most of the time.
7. All of the cliches are true. Every. Single. One. Trust me. Those things you rolled your eyes at when your friends, family and strangers said? They’re all true. Be prepared. You will love this little one more than you ever imagined possible.

So many things change when you become a parent. Personally, I think they are all worth it. What are some of the most hilarious things that changed your life since you became a parent?