Growing up my mother and I weren’t exactly close. Well, in her defense I was rebellious and sassy and snotty. I know, I have a lot to look forward to when my kids are teenagers. While I was in college I learned the hard way how much my mother did for me. Fast forward a little and within 10 years I went from hating my mother to working side-by-side with her.
Things aren’t always easy and we don’t always get along. Sometimes I’m a bitch. Sometimes she’s forgetful. In the end, we talk almost daily on the phone. We see each other at the farm. She will go home and I will remember something I have to tell her. So naturally I call her and we will talk for another hour. Yes, we are crazy close now.
My mom and I used to talk about how it was weird when mothers and daughters said they were each others best friend. Even being as close as we are there are things we don’t talk about. Honestly, who wants to talk to their mom about their sex life? I will openly admit I do not. When I was younger I needed a parent and not another friend. This bares repeating: I needed her to be my parent and not my friend when I was a kid and young adult.
We didn’t really like each other here. Seriously.
Once we had Calli things really started to change. My mom is always there to help. Seeing your parents be a grandparent is one of the most moving sights ever. Second only to holding your baby for the first time. My mother is always there at the last second to babysit or go pick her up from daycare when the farm is crazy. She sometimes goes grocery shopping for me. She helps clean my house and mow our lawn. To say my mom does way more than she should to help us is an understatement.
Almost a year ago my parents sold the farm to Eric and I. On their last day on the farm I had a pit in my stomach the entire time. I figured I was nervous because Eric wasn’t going to be back on the farm full time yet and it was just going to be me in charge for a month. The first day she didn’t come to the farm I cried. She literally was a mile away from me but I felt so lonely. I called her bawling telling her that after working together everyday for 6 years she was my best friend. She’s the person I talked to the most and confided in the most. I’m getting teary eyed just thinking about that day and it’s been almost a year.
I still don’t talk to my mom about certain subjects. Cough, cough sex. But I have come to accept that it’s not that weird to be best friends with my mom as an adult. My mom is one of my biggest cheerleaders and she is always there for advice. She has reached the point where she finally admitted 30 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing to have me was worth it. Which I’m pretty sure that wasn’t always the case. Right now, I don’t consider Calli to be my best friend. She’s a toddler who is always pushing my buttons. But I hope someday this fierce, sassy little girl will become an intelligent, fierce woman who will become a friend as well as a daughter.
Over the past few years I have had a few friends lose their mothers. Reflecting on the evolution of your relationship with your mother happens a lot when you see good friends missing their matriarch. While you have them, hug your mommy. If you have a good one, appreciate everything she gave you. Don’t be afraid to call her your best friend because most of us only have so much time to appreciate the special relationship we have with our mothers.
